"This is really strange, you're right..." Enkidu said with their typical detachment.

I had told them everything that had happened with Sexta and their reaction was quite disappointing, I have to be honest. Enkidu had such a singular attitude that at times they seemed to give no importance to what was happening around them. I didn't know what had happened—or rather I knew, but I didn't know how to explain it to myself—and then I had not yet understood what my powers as a magus were. I mean, if I was in the Holy Grail War I had to have some magical ability... but I still had nothing. I knew I was an amateur, but my memory stopped there. What was taught to me? I didn't know. What books of magic had I read? I didn't remember that. Had I ever used magic? Maybe, but I couldn't focus on that memory.

"How do you feel, An?"

"An, huh?"

That wasn't my name. Sexta called me 'Nihil', I didn't have the memories but I knew the meaning of that word. The word 'nihil' comes from Latin and means 'nothing' or 'emptiness'. Not the ideal name, but it screamed a story whose blurry image alone terrified me.

"Enkidu..." I said "I'm afraid."

"About what, An?"

"About what I am. Of what I could be. The way in which Sexta treated me..."

"Does it really matter, An?"

"Yes it does—"

"No, it doesn't."

"How can you say that with so much certainty? What do you know, to begin with? You don't know anything about me, you have no idea who I am—"

"Neither do you."

"That's not the point!" I exclaimed aloud. "You know very well what I mean..."

"An, you think too much about what you were and too little about what you could be. Those who become obsessed with their past are destined to rot, we must always look forward and evolve as Nature does around us."

"Easy to say..."

"Your skepticism worries me, An."

"What do you expect me to say? Don't you realize what's happening to me? I feel like I'm chained to a stone that I can't see. How else can I describe this feeling I'm experiencing?"

"An..."

"Why is this happening to me...?" I couldn't hold back the tears. "I can't understand..."

Enkidu hugged me. "It's okay, An, it's going to be okay." They stroked my head and hugged me with the same tenderness of a mother.

"I'm afraid, Enkidu..."

"An, you cannot live in fear, otherwise it will devour you to the bone. You have to react, An, you have to react to fear and be reborn. Your past doesn't matter, what matters is who you are now."

Their words were comforting to me, but they couldn't erase the pressing terror that gripped my thoughts with its chains. I felt like my every idea was forced in one direction, my mind was focused on that fear of my past. Enkidu's words, however kind and affectionate, could not dispel the fear that was now poisoning my body.

I left that embrace with a smile and thanked Enkidu, continuing to keep those dynamic and dark emotions in my heart.

We returned to the cave.

The quick berry breakfast quenched that non-existent appetite, but it could not dispel that constant worry that began to wander through my thoughts like a ghost. I needed to relax. Without saying anything to Enkidu, I decided to head towards the lake and, after taking off my clothes, I immersed myself in that cold water.

"I'm weird, huh?" I said in a low voice trying, in vain, to find irony in my situation.

Everything about me was out of the ordinary, even this idea of ​​'normality' was just an empty box in my head. What was normal? What wasn't? I didn't know, but I knew for sure that I wasn't normal. There was something in those blurred memories that suggested it to me.

No hunger. No thirst. My name translated into 'emptiness'. What did all this mean? Was I some kind of inhuman creature? I didn't know and I was afraid to find out.

The cold didn't bother me, on the contrary, it had something strangely familiar. The cold blanket made me feel right at home.

The cold...

Why was the cold giving me that feeling? I didn't know, I had no idea. I wandered through the depths of my memory in search of an answer, but found none. I was lost, like a wolf without a pack.

"An..."

Enkidu's voice startled me slightly.

"Sorry, An, I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, you don't have to worry. I was just—forget it, nothing important."

"Water purifies the soul" they said smiling.

"Huh?"

"Women and men washed not only to remove dirt, but also to purify their souls. It, after all, brings life, fertilizes and sweeps away the impure. Many seek comfort in the embrace of water, you know? In Uruk it was said that water allowed the mind to wander freely—"

"Where can a mind that has no goal wander?"

"Everywhere." They sat down on the bank. "I know I'm not particularly helpful in this situation, An, I'm a weapon and I'm not well versed in these things. Humans, however ingenious, tend to make a mountain out of a rock."

"What do you mean?"

"They magnify the problems."

"So tell me what I should do. Considering everything you know, what should I do, in your opinion? "

They hesitated a bit before answering me. "Elysion, the Invisible City."

"Are you suggesting that we leave the forest and go to Elysion?"

"It seems obvious to me that that is our goal. Everything started from there and we will have to return to there. Turning around is useless, let's take the road and proceed along the path indicated by destiny."

They were right.

I couldn't afford to hesitate for long, it was time to get straight to the heart of the matter.

For Enkidu I was 'An'.

For Sexta I was 'Nihil'.

For Elysion, I was probably a walking dead man.

What was the point of hesitating? None. Enkidu was right. I left that lake with the firm determination to reach the Invisible City.

We reached a cobblestone road—after walking through the forest for almost two hours—and set out for that steep descent shaded by pine trees. The smell of resin was strong in the air and it was very easy to slip on pine cones. Enkidu prevented me from falling at least twice... it was a bit embarrassing, I admit, but it was one more reason to hate whoever dragged me into that war.

The sun was already setting and we had not yet come out of that dense forest. My legs were already aching and I decided to stop and take a break. It was absurd. Really absurd. Where had they put that city? How far did that mountain still extend? I had no idea. It occurred to me to ask Enkidu to take us out quickly, but I didn't want to risk exposing us too much.

"You don't have to force yourself, An," they told me kindly. "I can find a cave to spend the night."

"No, let's go on a little longer" I said getting up.

We resumed walking.

"Tell me, Enkidu, have you ever been afraid of anything?"

"Weapons cannot be afraid."

"Be serious—"

"I am."

"Come on! You can't tell me that—"

"Come to think of it, though, I've had some feelings similar to the fear you humans have. These feelings were particularly strong when I realized that my demise was inevitable."

"Were you afraid of dying?"

"No." They shook their head. "I was afraid of leaving my friend alone."

"Oh..."

"What is it?"

"You really don't care about your own life?"

"Why should I?" they asked me quietly.

"Well... because life has a value, right?"

"I understand the value of life as such, but that same value cannot be attributed to my life. I exist to be used, I have no purpose other than my use."

They spoke like that without hesitation and with extreme clarity. It was easy to follow their unacceptable reasoning. I couldn't tolerate such speeches from Enkidu, perhaps it was selfish of me to expect them to think differently... but what could I think? Was it normal to think about your life that way? Considering what I was going through, Enkidu's arguments seemed even more unacceptable to me.

"What about your friendship with Gilgamesh?" I asked. "Does that have any value for you?"

"Of course—"

"So how can you deprive your life of value? If you had never been created, Gilgamesh would never have had a friend. Your life has value—"

"Maybe you misunderstand me, An. I recognize the value of my existence, but I understand that it's less than what you attribute to life. I have the same value as an object. What you say about me you could also say about a weapon."

"How can you think like this? How can you get such a low opinion of yourself?"

They smiled. "Sometimes I ask myself more or less the same thing about you humans: how can you have such a high opinion of yourself? Your life in this universe has the same value as that of an ant, a fish or a bird. You have the luxury of being aware of your own existence and mortality, but you're not special. You sublimate sleeping, eating and having sex in art, but this doesn't mean that you do these things for a reason other than that imposed by the cosmos. You think you're destined for something higher, but you don't realize that humans, like any other animal, live just to die." They stopped and turned to me. "You are a curious race, you humans, but you're not special."

At that moment we heard a roar coming from the forest. Enkidu turned and didn't say a word, but I understood from their eyes that there was something dangerous a few steps away from us.

The reddish sky had been covered with a starry veil and, on that cold night, Enkidu and I hid to watch that battle between two Servants.

I recognized Musashi Miyamoto immediately, but the Servant facing her was a stranger to me. Her ears were long and she had feathered wings.

                                                           * *** *

A wall of blue flames surrounded Saber and Caster. Caster's Master, Quintus, was watching the battle carefully and preparing for any possible unwelcome intervention.

"A nice trick, pigeon" Musashi said drawing out two swords. "I would like you to let me go back to my Master, I came here on a reconnaissance... I wouldn't want him to worry too much."

"I don't think that's going to happen, Saber. My Master has hatched this battle and will not miss the opportunity to eliminate a Heroic Spirit of your caliber. I hope you're ready to die."

"Okay, Caster, let's do this, but don't complain if I hurt you."

Saber remained motionless waiting for the opponent's attack; it was clear that she had no intention of taking this duel seriously. Caster, unnerved by her rival's arrogance, decided to use powerful spells to win the battle in an instant. The magical explosions that followed didn't harm Saber in any way. That girl, whose gaze was calm and cold as ice, was fast as a hare and, with a hint of vanity, invited the opponent to keep hitting.

The seventh conflagration was the largest and, for a moment, it seemed that Caster had triumphed. When the dust mist cleared, Saber appeared; she was unharmed. The girl sheathed a single sword to be able to clean her dress and then she drew the weapon again.

"That's all?" Saber asked.

"How did you do...?" Caster was shocked.

"How did I do what? Avoid your cheap attacks? Come on, Caster, did you really think it would take so little to stop me? I'm sorry to tell you, but I'm not someone who can be beaten by a third-rate Servant."

"How dare you?! Insolent—!"

"Circe, right?"

Caster's eyes widened in dismay.

"You're a witch from Greek mythology, a figure linked to the legendary hero Ulysses. You're the one who turned men into pigs, aren't you?"

"How do you know these things?"

"Who knows, maybe a fairy told me."

"Shut up!" she screamed angrily. "I'm tired of this little game!"

Caster used another spell and managed to surprise Saber; the impact of the attack was violent. Caster then decided not to waste any more time and prepared to use her Noble Phantasm to end the battle.

Quintus, who was paying attention to the duel, was beginning to doubt his strategy. He took off his glasses, cleaned them and, at that moment, he saw, just for an instant, some figures in the forest. He knew he was being watched and then, fearing the worst, he used his magic to throw fireballs.

Enkidu took An to safety, but in doing so they showed themselves to Quintus.

"Nihil!" he exclaimed. "Caster, forget about Saber. We have a new prey to hunt."

"Got it, Master—!"

As soon as Circe turned, Musashi's blade cut off one of her wings. Caster screamed in pain and was subsequently kicked in the face.

"What is this all about? Do you think you can provoke the tiger and then walk away as if nothing happened? That's not how it works, pigeon. I will cut you into small pieces."

"May you be... cursed!" she exclaimed in pain.

"Come on, come on, get on your feet and face me, Circe. Do not let me down."

Quintus realized, observing the state of things, that it was now impossible to abandon the battle and therefore ordered the Servant to use the Noble Phantasm to defeat Musashi Miyamoto once and for all.

Circe, after hearing the Master's order, channeled her Magical Energy to be able to use her most powerful attack. Musashi remained motionless and, from her gaze, it seemed as if she already knew what was going to happen.

"Do you think you're better than me, insolent Saber? You will have to think again! Look at my Noble Phantasm: Metabole Piglets!"

Saber found herself in a dining room fit for a king. Before her appeared long tables inhabited by food of all kinds: rare meat, fried fish, roast chicken, exotic fruit, homemade desserts and aristocratic drinks. Any palate would've bowed before such a spectacle. It was impossible to resist Circe's Noble Phantasm, it acted on the victim's mind and put them in a position to desire those foods more than anything else.

Musashi was bewitched by the strong and warm scents of that royal banquet. She laid down her arms and walked over to a chicken leg that was practically asking her to be bitten. Musashi could already feel the taste of white meat in her mouth.

"Come on, Saber, eat," Circe said with a devilish smile. "All the food is at your disposal, go ahead and eat and don't give compliments. Don't be ashamed of your gluttony, you can't let such exquisite dishes go to waste, can you? Eat eat..."

Musashi grabbed that chicken leg. Circe prepared to snap her fingers and set off the trap that would turn her opponent into a pig.

"Well, a taste won't hurt me." Musashi brought the meat to his mouth. "Itadakimasu!"

The chicken leg was kicked like a soccer ball and hit Circe's head.

Caster was left speechless.

"Did you really think it would be that easy to fool me, witch?" Musashi asked.

"How did you...?"

"I'm not someone who likes to brag, but I am aware that I have one of the most disciplined minds in history. I have full control of my emotions and impulses. This ridiculous Noble Phantasm of yours has no effect on me."

"Impossible! You're using a trick! I'm sure—!"

"What trick are you talking about, Circe? There is no trick, no deception, no mask... I could tell you it's all a matter of memory."

"What are you talking about?!"

"You really don't get it? You're dumber than you seem. Do you know why I know you? It's not a matter of magic and it certainly doesn't have to do with any of my abilities. No, my friend, the truth is that we have already faced each other in the past."

Circe was shocked, she didn't know what to say, but was sure that Musashi was lying.

"You've lost the memories of our two previous duels, but I haven't. I remember very well your fighting style, your Noble Phantasm and how I have to kill you."

Quintus intervened energetically: "This is impossible! Primum had assured me that this war would be as fair as all the others! It's against the rules to keep Servants in this world after a war is over!"

"You're right, it's 'against the rules', but I would like to remind you that it was my Master who wrote these rules."

"No, I can't accept it—Circe kill Musashi!"

Caster prepared for the attack, but it was too late.

Musashi's blade had dealt the fatal blow.

Quintus saw his Servant be beheaded.

"Game over" Musashi said, sheathing her weapons. "Next time you will be luckier."

Saber saw Quintus being devoured by the blue flames; she ignored his cries of pain. When only his arm remained, she took a look at the code.

"So it was '5KNT-no.20'... I thought he was the other one. Maybe I remembered badly."