third person pov
————————————

"wake up, he's awake"

"what?"

"san's awake"

mingi immediately shot up, seeing seonghwa smiling widely.

"he's awake? like actually?" mingi asked, in complete disbelief

"come on" seonghwa helped him out of the lobby chair, walking as fast as they could to the hospital room.

it's been over twenty four hours since they came into the hospital, now three in the morning and san is awake. the parents were notified at two that he was awake, but the doctors needed to do testing, and check ups before the family could see him. they woke everyone up when they were told they could visit, mingi is stubborn when it comes to sleep so he was the last one awake.

"you have to be gentle, be quiet, you know the drill" seonghwa said once they reached the door

"yeah. open it please" mingi begged, seonghwa smiled and opened the door.

the door opening made everyone in the room stop their conversations and look. san laid there on the bed, a wrapping bandage wrapped around his his left arm where the cuts are either stitched up or just cleaned. needles in his arm for fluids, the, what jongho calls, beepy screen, was well, beeping. and san smiled a little

"you're finally awake" san said

"says you" mingi said as he gently hugged his brother, making him laugh. "you doing okay, other than being here"

"have you told any of them?" san asked the two parents who were standing to the side. they shook their heads as the kids looked between the three of them confused "can you?"

seonghwa let out a sigh, of sadness because, "we're sending san to a mental hospital"

"what, no" yunho said immediately

"you can't, he's b-been c-clean" yeosang argued

"and when he relapsed he got put into a hospital" hongjoong said, because let's be honest, just because you're clean for a while doesn't mean you're necessarily safe from your own thoughts and actions.

"his therapist and doctor have been in here talking to him for the past hour, they both suggested it would be best" seonghwa said, as soothingly as he could

"so what, you're sending him to a psych ward because his therapist can't help him? find a new therapist, medication, something" yunho started raising his voice

"yunho-" san was cut off

"no, you aren't a crazy person, san, you don't belong in a white room where they watch you do everything from brushing your teeth to taking a shower. you're not a psychopath, you aren't crazy-"

"i'm a danger to my own self, yunho, i don't necessarily want to go either. but it's better then being in a hospital all the time because i decided to cut my skin open" san said

"so you'd rather be in a white room, no hoodie strings, no shower currents, no nothing. that how you want to live?" yunho raised his voice slightly, mingi's anxiety was going crazy and had to leave the room. so he did, yeosang following behind

"i'll w-watch him" he said to the parent before leaving

"yunho stop" wooyoung begged

"you're not crazy" yunho whispered with a tear running down his face "you're not, you- you don't belong there"

"yunho sweetie, it won't be forever. just until we can assure he's safe from himself. and san said he's okay with it, we wouldn't put him in if he wasn't" hongjoong went behind yunho, hugging him tightly. and that when he started actually breaking down.

he couldn't hold himself up by himself, so hongjoong gently sat him and himself down on the ground, pulling the thirteen year old to his lap. rocking them back and forth as yunho cried into his chest, letting out loud and heartbreaking sobs that didn't leave a dry eye in the room.

san couldn't even look at his brother, if he did he would probably break down just like him. jongho sat in the chair and cried to himself, as wooyoung gently climbed into the hospital bed, holding on to san as if he would disappear any second now. san pulled wooyoung close, never wanting to let go. seonghwa walked over to jongho, who was sobbing out tiny whispers of 'mama'. he picked his son up, and even though he was ten, he held him like he was still a toddler.

yeosang and mingi sat outside of the hospital room, crying in each other's arms. it felt like the world was ending. their sunshine was going away, and though they knew it would come back up after nightfall, it seemed like it would be forever.

~

two hours later, everyone's calmed down. but of course, no ones particularly happy. the bang family came to visit before they had to leave to hyunjin and felix's dance recital.

"good luck" san said smiling at his friends

"thanks, when do you leave?" felix asked

"not until next week, i have to pack and notify the school. plus mama and papa was me to be home before i start living in a white-out room" the boys chuckled a little

"we'll miss you san" jeongin said with a tear shedding from his eye. san brought the boy into a hug, as best as he could from the hospital bed

"i'll miss you guys too. but i'm sure i'll see you before i leave" san smiled, trying to cheer the boy up. he nodded and backed away from the hug, sniffling and wiping his nose with his sleeve.

wasn't long after that when minho, changbin, and chan walked in. everyone else in the room walked out, knowing how close san was with the three of them. the college boys walked in with gift bags, holding candy, stuffed animals, and other fun surprises.

"hey buddy" chan smiled, placing the bag on the table then ruffling the boys hair.

"hey" san smiled at the three of them

"we heard the news, you sure you're alright with that?" minho asked

"yeah, i'm gonna give it a few weeks, and if i don't like it mama and papa will take me home" san nodded

and that was the plan, might as well try and do everything possible to get better. of course san doesn't think it'll take his depression away, but maybe it'll help in some aspects. and if he doesn't like it, he knows he always has the option to come home.

"it's good that you have a choice then" changbin smiled. but sans face turned to a frown, remembering how excited, not just changbin, but all of them were to hear that san had been clean. and how excited san was to tell them

"i'm sorry i let you guys down" san said.

"hey, hey, hey, no. buddy you never let anyone down, especially not us. why would you think that" changbin asked, rushing to the youngers side, patting his messy hair.

"you were all so proud of me, and then i did this again" san said, lifting his left arm, showing off the wrap.

"hey, this, doesn't dictate what we think of you. san-ah, we will always be proud you. no matter what. you're always going to be our sunshine kid, even if you don't feel like you are" chan said, holding the boys hand, rubbing his thumb against the back of it.

"we're sad that you decided to do this as a coping mechanism. but we know you're not at fault. we understand you're going though a lot, and we're proud of you for being brave enough to try and get help." minho smiled softly at the younger

"we're always a phone call away" changbin said

"get some sleep san-ah"

~

"mingi, wooyoung, and jongho are all at home with papa. yeosang went to renjuns and yunho went to yeji's" seonghwa told san as he brought him in some dinner.

the reason yunho and yeosang aren't at home, is because they couldn't stand to be across from sans room. see, yunho is directly across from sans room, and yeosang is beside yunho. and it wasn't like they could sleep in seonghwa and hongjoongs room like the youngest two could, and mingi didn't have room in his bed for anyone else. plus, they really just didn't want to be alone right now, and needed some comforting, so the parents were the ones that suggested they stay with their partners.

"good, yun and sang could probably use a break" san chuckled a little as he dug into his food.

"yeah, yunho told me to tell you to text everyone goodnight before you go to sleep" seonghwa smiled, it was twelve in the morning, and most of the family is most likely already sleeping. but he was planning on texting them anyway.

san fell asleep when minho told him to, and he just woke up maybe half an hour ago. so seonghwa went out and go him and himself some food to eat.

"i was going to anyway" the boy shrugged, blowing onto his noodles to cool them down

"good"

~

"you doin' okay?" yeji asked as she lifted off her shirt to put on a hoodie for the night "you know, other than what been going on at least"

"i'm mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted" yunho sighed, slipping into some basketball shorts and taking his hoodie off and tossing it to the girl

"i'd imagine so, have you been able to sleep anyway?" she asked

"like properly? no. i've gotten a couple hours of sleep and my schedule is screwed" yunho chuckled as he laid back onto the bed, watching his girlfriend look for a pair of spandex to sleep in. "nice rainbow underwear babe" he teased

"shut up, i'm on my period" yeji flipped him off, knowing that he knows damn well that she can only wear a certain type of underwear on her period

"i know, i'm the one that bought you five packs of candy" yunho chuckled again as the girl walked over to the bed again, giving up on finding clean spandex

"which you didn't have to do, so i think you very much kind sir" yeji smiled, leaning down and kissing his lips

"thank you for helping me get my mind off of things, as much as you can at least" yunho mumbled against her lips

"it's what i'm here for" she smiled before going back to kissing him

~

"i did your homework for you"

"marry me. r-right now" yeosang joked

"a thank you would've been fine" renjun shrugged while putting his things to the side.

"thank you" the older smiled, coming up from behind, and wrapping his arms around his middle. placing kisses on his cheek.

"you okay sang?" renjun asked, he hadn't really talked to the boy since he left his house that night. other than long good morning and goodnight texts, he wanted to give the boy some space.

"i don't wanna t-talk about it. or th-think about right now. s-so~, p-please distract me" yeosang said with a low voice as his boyfriend turned around in his arm. he lifted his arms from his waist, to his shoulders, playing with the ends of his hair. renjun reacted quickly, wrapping his arms around the others waist

"well, we could go through the lessons that you missed" renjun joked

yeosang smiled, pulled the boy close, put his lips near his ear and whispered "fuck you"

"i'm joking"

"i know, b-but that was a l-lame j-joke" yeosang teased, ruffling his freshly dyed hair. "i love th-the hair by th-the way"

"thank you" renjun smiled. he dyed his hair blond with highlights.

"you're welcome" the older smiled before leaning in for a kiss.

something about this kiss felt different to both of them. there was so much built up emotion, that you could feel it like a strong breeze on a hot day. the sigh escaping yeosangs lips didn't go unnoticed either. the amount of passion in this kiss probably made it more memorable than their first kiss. it felt comforting to yeosang, like, he knew renjun was there, he knew he had a safe space with him. and to renjun, it let him know that not only could he feel safe with yeosang, but yeosang felt safe with him.

and at such a young age, you'd expect comments like, 'they're too young to know what love is' or 'they're too young to understand what they're doing'. but they knew what they were doing, they knew how they felt for each other. they know what this feeling is.

"i love you" yeosang said, for the first time. and without a stutter, or any kind of struggle or hesitation, it made it just that much more shocking and at the same time, heartfelt

"i love you too"

[to be continued]

[not proof read]

[got a little bit of the relationships this chapter. very much an emotion rollercoaster if i do say so myself]

[next chapter will most likely be just the couples again, just cause these past chapters were kinda heavy, and emotionally hard for me to write. i hope y'all don't mind~]