Suzanna: Azora what is going on with my brother? He hasn't spoken to me in three days?

Me: TJ and Damion had a fight, like they literally punched each other and got stitches. That was three days ago and he's quite to me too. I'm really worried. The day after they fought he spend the day with me, he said he will try to make amends if I would. Damion and I have been texting since, but it sounds to me like they still haven't talked to one another.

Suzanna: You need to go there and figure this out, before you go back home. I don't want him to be left in the state he is in. Fix this Azora!

Me: That's not fair Suzi, it's their problems not mine. They have to fix it themselves, but I'll check on both of them, something is definitely up.

Suzanna: I know I'm sorry. I'm just not used to his behavior even my mom is worried. Let me know how it went.

Me: Sure thing.

I sigh and put down my phone, I was hoping to avoid having to deal with both of them at the same time but looks like that won't happen. Damion and I have been talking things through, but I know some things cannot be spoken over the phone they have to be done face to face. I need to know where I stand emotionally with him and I have to figure out where I want to go with TJ.

I decided to just go and see what happens, hear what is going on. I got dressed in skinny jeans and an off-the-shoulder green shirt that asks "Did you get the picture?"

"Mom?"

"In the kitchen honey!"

As I enter the kitchen I could smell all the yummy food. "Um ... I'm going to TJ's ..." My mom almost dropped the pot she was holding. "because um ..." why do I feel so uneasy? "something's up with him and I'm worried. I don't know if I'll be back for dinner." Her eye started to twitch, yea know I remember why I'm nervous, she hates it when she started dinner and someone tells her they won't be joining at the last minute. If you tell her before she starts to cook its fine but when she's busy or done ... well let's just say you have to run.

"I'm only not freaking out, because you're going to TJ and also because I know it's going bad." My mom sighs and puts down the pot. "His mom called this morning, he refuses to come out of his room since yesterday. Apparently he and Damion did talk when he got back from us, but then yesterday they had another huge argument, he hit Damion again and locked himself in."

"Why hasn't anyone told me!?"

My mom walks towards me and grabs my hand "Because we want them to sort it out, but when his mom called this morning she wanted you to go over there and see if you can get him out of his room. I did not tell you because I don't want you to be in the middle of TJ's and Damion's fight."

I sigh frustrated at the whole situation."Mom I understand, but you still did not have the right to keep this from me. I care for them both and I know I need to figure out my emotions and the only way to do it is to face both of them. I love you, but don't keep something like this away from me again please. I don't know when I'll come back tonight, but I'll text you and let you know."

"Okay be safe honey."

"I will." I kiss her on the cheek and left.

~~~~~~

I've been sitting in the car for a couple of minutes in front of TJ's parents' house, trying to get enough courage to get out of the car. Come on Azora you can do this. You have to do this, for TJ and for yourself.

I got out and just before I could knock the door flew open. "Oh thank goodness you are here! Come in, come in" Tracy, TJ's mom, practically dragged me into the house and into the kitchen not wasting anytime. "When he came home from that day with you he talked to Damion. It seemed like they got to an understanding, I was so happy and relieved, but then yesterday I overheard them yelling at one another something about Damian that has been texting someone?" I groaned and rested my head on the breakfast counter. So that's what this is all about.

"Azora are you okay?"

I sat up quickly giving Tracy a small smile. "Yea, I just know why he's acting like this." She nods at me to continue "Damion and I have been texting. I promised TJ to try and forgive Damion if he would do the same."

She nods at me, but before she could answer Damion spoke up behind me. "He's jealous." I whirled around almost falling of off the chair I was sitting on not expecting to hear him or that he would be so close behind me.

"Don't scare me like that! How long have you been eavesdropping?"

"I have been standing behind you since you sat there so technically I did not eavesdrop you just did not hear or see me" I rolled my eyes at him already irritated.

"Why haven't you told me Damion? We have been texting for almost two days and you said nothing?!" My voice rose an octave at the end.

He shrugs his shoulders carelessly and threw his arm around me as if it was an everyday thing. His arrogance has always irritated me but today it just infuriates me.

"Don't touch me." I stood up moving away from him.

"Come on Azora what's the big deal? He's a big boy and he needs to grow up!" He shouted the last part probably aiming for TJ to hear him, but I doubt that he did.

"Stop being so childish! You knew since day one that TJ and I had feelings for one another! That's why you got so jealous at one stage while we dated. You knew how we felt, but you also knew we did not realize it. Now your fear is that we have realized it which will ruin your chances with me!" I knew I was right and that I hit a nerve, because Damion started clenching his fists and his muscles in his jaw was tight. "Guess what Damion, your fear has come true!" I started walking away. "Oh and by the way," I turned around at the foot of the stairs and said the next few words with a lot of resentment through clenched teeth. "you would have never gotten me back, like I said that day, you lost that privilege!" With that I stomped to TJ's room, but paused by his door to compose myself my hand hovering over the door handle.

After a minute I tried opening the door, but it was locked. "Go away! I said I'm not in the mood!" I could tell he's beyond mad and irritated. Oh boy this might not be as easy as I thought. Now that I know what's going on he's probably not going to want to talk to me either. So I turned around and walked to the back yard. I saw that his bedroom window was open and next to a balcony. That's my way in. Classic I know but hey I'm a girl for the classics, well some of them anyway.

Seconds later and I'm standing on the balcony next to TJ's bedroom window. I can't believe I'm going to do this. It's two stories high! My hands are shaking and my heart is pounding in my chest. Here we go.

I climb over the railing, if I stretched my arm out I could touch the side of the window. So all I have to do is grab the one side and try to put one foot on the ledge and climb in. Easy right ... ?

Wrong! I've been so very, very wrong. I managed to grab the other side of the window, but I could not get my leg up on the ledge and I don't have the upper body strength to pull myself up high enough to climb through the window and to make it worse ... I'm slipping.

As I looked in through the window I saw TJ laying on the bed sleeping.

I tried not to sound panicked "TJ!" He stirred a bit. I'm going to fall if he doesn't wake up! I yell louder "TJ!!" He sits up-right looking around startled by my voice.

I'm panicking, I'm going to fall any minute. "TJ! Get your butt over here and HELP ME!" His head snapped to the window and as he realized what is going on his eyes grew instantly wide.

He grabbed both my hands just before I lost the little grip I had. "What are you doing!?" Clearly he's shocked.

"I'm here to see you, now pull me up! I'm not a doll that wants to hang outside your window!"

He rolls his eyes at me and pulled me in. We both collapsed on the floor with a thud. I turned to lay on my back and just breathed, thankful he saved me.

There's a knock on the door. "TJ? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine mom!" he yelled back and spoke quitter to me "Are you ... insane!?"

I sat up "I expected you to ask me am I okay not if I'm insane! I just climbed over a balcony to get to your window two stories high just to get into your room! If you did not know I'm insane this proves it. I'm concerned about you."

He just stared at me like I grew a second head. "Why did you not knock? I would have let you come in."

I sat up blinking at him, great he would have let me in so all of this effort and almost heart stopping action was for nothing!? "I did knock ... well sort of, but you yelled for me to go away, I also figured you wouldn't want to see me since Damion and I started to text and that's the reason you locked yourself in here."

"How did you know?" He narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously even though he might already know the answer.

I shrugged and pointed to my head. "I have a brain you know, I put two and two together, but I only did that like ten minutes ago."

He shook his head and went to sit on the bed. I turned so that my back was against the wall looking around his room while I wait for him to say something. I must admit to my disappointment there wasn't much in the room. The walls was painted and off white and there was a dark brown wooden drawer on the one side of his bed and next to it the door that leads to the bathroom. His bed was in the center of the room standing tall and proud. It was bade of the same dark wood as his dresser and the bedding was various shades of greens and browns.

"So shoot, tell me what's going on with you." I could not wait any longer for him. He wanted to protest, I just saw it in the way he opened his mouth. So before he could say anything I interrupted him. "Don't even think about making excuses. You have been avoiding your sister, everyone in this house and you have been avoiding me. So spill it, what's going on with you, why are you acting like this? I thought we had a deal to both try and forgive Damion."

He fell back on his bed and stayed quite for a whole couple of minutes, it felt like the silence was screaming and driving me insane.

Finally, he spoke up, but still laid on the bed. "When I got home after I spend the day with you Damion and I talked and somehow worked through certain stuff. Then yesterday he had this big goofy smile on his face and he was all giddy and happy so I asked him what's going on, but he never really gave an answer, so I left it trying to ignore the gut feeling I had. Later that day his phone was on the counter and a text message came through. I unlocked it to see if it was urgent or not because he was out for a run."

"That's when you saw it was from me?"

He sat up on the bed nodding "I couldn't help myself so I opened it and skimmed through it, that's when I saw that you have been talking since extremely early that morning." Yea I couldn't sleep again, because of what TJ said earlier that day, I knew Damion was always an early bird so I started to text him.

"I got extremely mad at him for not telling me so I waited till he got back and all hell broke loose a second time. I confronted him about not telling me the truth and he started to get cross with me, because I was on his phone without asking. One thing led to another and I punched him. We said some things ... bad things to one another, he told me some things." TJ looked straight into my eyes "You're not going to like it."

"I'm listening." I stood up and went to sit next to him on the bed it was so soft that it felt like I'm on a loud.

"he said that he knew we had feelings for one another ..." he paused to check my reaction but that was old news so I just waved it off indicating that I knew about it. "When I confronted him he said that he knew I would never admit to you how I feel about you and that he would take you again right under my nose without me having the guts to stop him again ... that's when I punched him. I told him that I told you how I felt about you and that you felt the same way. That's when Damion flipped and said he had been following you for the couple of days that he was here before letting anyone know that he was here ... he saw us on the porch that day."

That got my attention. "What!?"

TJ looked at me with softness in his eyes. "I told you, you wouldn't like it."

We both sighed at the same time and fell back onto the bed each lost in their own thoughts.

I can't believe Damian has followed me for those couple of days. The thing that scares me the most is that I haven't even noticed it. Why did he follow me? And most importantly why did he not want to let anyone know he was here for those days.

"I know there's more TJ. You're not done yet." I knew I was right when his whole body got stiff next to me.

"Azora, when I realized you started the texting I felt like I was betrayed by you and somehow cheated. It felt like you wanted to keep the fact that you were texting away from me. I know we aren't in a relationship and that you are still trying to figure us out, but I couldn't help but feel that way, even though I knew I was wrong to feel like that. It was a hard blow after the day we had. I thought that things between us have moved forward especially about the fact that you have gotten more comfortable to actually flirt back." I knew he tried to lighten the mood but his words have hurt me. He also made me see things from his perspective and I guess it did look like I did not want him to know that Damion and I was texting ... in a way he was right.

I sat up and looked down on TJ. "Look TJ, it was never my intention to make you feel like I cheated on you or to make you jealous. I did not intentionally keep the fact that Damion and I have been texting away from you. I wanted to tell you, but you disappeared on me. I must admit I was scared because I did not know what your reaction would have been towards us texting and I was afraid that you would blow up. I guess that's why I did not make an effort to tell you. I need to figure out how I really feel about Damion because he turns my emotions upside down every time I see him, but then I see you and I spend time with you and my heart just ... it just melts and I feel like I'm whole again and that I can just be me ..." I look him in the eyes with a lot of intensity and affection. "I feel free with you. I don't feel trapped and caged in."

He sat up and looked at me with a smile on his face, his eyes poured out love and affection for me which made my heart soar above the clouds.

"I'm sorry for the way I reacted Azora. I know I was wrong, but when it comes to you I lose the ability to think, especially when it involves Damion. I know you are still confused when it comes to him and I think that's why I feel threatened by him, he still has a chance to win you back and he knows it."

"TJ, I was supposed to marry Damion, of course you'll feel threaten, but remember he is also your best friend who you adore and would die for. I don't want your friendship to be ruined because of me." I know he noticed that I did not react towards the last part of his sentence but luckily he allowed it to pass.

He took one of my strands of hair between his fingers and twirled it around. He just nodded at me.

I stood up and unlocked his bedroom door. "I think it's time for you to stop licking your wounds and get out there to allow it to heal. Work through it one day at a time."

He stood up to follow me. "You know that applies to you too right?"

I sigh. "I know."

I could hear Tracy in the kitchen, busy making dinner, so I headed to her first while TJ went to find Damion.

"Hey Tracy."

"Azora, did you get him out?"

I laughed "Indeed I did and I had to climb through the window to get into his room."

"Oh dear I'm sorry for his stubbornness, it comes from his father." She waves the spoon in her hand around while talking.

"Oh no this time it was my stubbornness not his."

"I see. Are you staying for dinner?"

"Definitely. Hopefully it will be a peaceful one. Speaking of peaceful I need to go and have those two talk to one another. This insanity needs to end." I sigh and drag myself towards the living room very confused and upset barely hearing her saying good luck to me.

As I got closer I could hear arguing coming from the living room and I knew it was them. I had to hear what it's all about before making my presence know so I stopped next to the entree to the living room hiding behind the wall.

"TJ I told you I don't care if she is falling for you. I'm getting her back and you can't stop me."

"Damion can't you see that she doesn't want to go back to you? You broke her heart when you left her. You still have no clue what you have done to her! You only think about what you want and not what she might want! You are so self-absorbed, that's what was the downfall to your relationship. You got scared at the altar because you knew you wouldn't be free again. You only thought of yourself! Did you ever think that because of your selfishness that you slowly suffocated her? I'm glad that day happened because she is rid of you!"

"TJ you have no idea what you are talking about! You weren't the one dating her. I knew her better than anyone including you. All I have ever done was for her not for me. I will forever regret that day, till the day I die, but I also know that you are and never will be good enough for her!"

Okay I've heard enough! I did not realize tears was streaming down my cheeks. I stepped into the living room making my presence know. "That is enough! I've had enough with you two! All you do is fight and do you know what? It kills me to see it and it kills me even more to be the reason for your stupid fights! TJ, Damion has not always been selfish. I know he has done everything for me so don't you dare call him that because you know it's not completely true and how could you say that you were happy he left me? You of all people know what a horrible day that was and I'm still going through that pain every day!" Both of them just stared at me and the more I scolded and shouted at them the more their heads began to hang and the guilt shone in their eyes.

"Damion you don't get to say that you know me better than TJ anymore and don't you ever say to TJ ever again that he will never be enough for me or anyone else! The fact that you stalked me only scares me. You need to let me go, I've told you several times, us getting back together again won't happen. Tonight both of you have broken my heart by being so aggressive towards one another! I know this is complicated and frustrating, but if there was one person that should be behaving like the two of you, is me! You two know me in different ways, but the only one that knows what is best for me is myself and no one else, so stop pretending like you do! Fix your differences and get over it, because you are brothers and brothers never allow a girl to ruin their bond, even if that girl is me! It breaks my heart seeing you like this because I know deep down it's slowly killing the both of you."

I stood there out of breath and finally drained of all the pent up frustrations and anger inside of me, feeling numb but also better at the same time. Something became clear to me and I knew I meant it when I said it, "I'm done screaming and shouting, I'm done crying, I'm done feeling guilty and I'm done trying to fix everything."

When I turned around I saw Tracy and Mason standing behind me, I smiled apologetically to them for hearing my outburst. "Sorry Tracy, it looks like I won't be staying for dinner." With that, I left with Damion and TJ to figure it out for themselves, I have my own problems.

TJ's POV

The moment Azora left Damion and I both stood there frozen, taking in her words. I know I went too far but he still does not get how much he hurt her and I wish he could see her the way I did, not just after he left her at the alter but also when she had her breakdown a couple of days ago. I looked up at my mom and Mason to see them giving us pointed looks not even trying to mask their disapproval of our actions. I sunk into the couch feeling completely defeated. I'm just trying to stand up for her, but wound up making it worse.

It feels strange to be the one Azora is mad at, we barely had any quarrels before. I looked up as Damion still stood frozen his eyes moving back and forth. My mom and Mason still stood there and I could see they had something to say. "Out with it. What do you want to say?" The irritation from the fight was still in my voice and I sounded more hostile then I intended. Damion snapped out of his haze and moved slowly towards the couch sitting down across from me.

My mom just shook her head. "Why do you three make it so difficult for each other?" With that she went back into the kitchen without waiting for an answer. Mason crossed his arms around his chest and leaned against the wall. He is a real flirt and jokester, he barely takes anything serious so seeing him so serious with his frown on his face made me realize he is actually serious. "I do not know much about this whole ordeal then the main points and I'm not picking sides here, but Azora is right. Ever since I can remember you two ere inseparable. Hek, I got jealous sometimes because the two of you have a better relationship then TJ and I ever had. I also agree with mom, you are making this way too complicated. Damion you screwed up man, big time and you will live the rest of your life trying to make amends, but face it, you can only try and mend this that far, it will never be the same between you and Azora. You need to accept that and move on. TJ I know you love her and you want to protect her but you said it yourself, she is different, so get to know her again. Everything you think you know about her, throw it away and get to know her again, the way she is now. You keep comparing the old version with the new and it does not work that way. Lastly, the two of you seriously need to sort this all out, you are upsetting everyone around you and this is supposed to be a happy time for our family." For a second I thought he was going to keep lecturing us but he just turned around and left the house.

Once again the wind was taken out of my sails and I could feel my mood turning more sour with every passing second. I glared at Damion still looking like an idiot. I need to go and think. I left without a word driving around aimlessly to clear my thoughts.

Damion's POV

The moment TJ left I blew out a breath. I'm stunned at everyone's words but Azoras words still rings loud and clear in my ears. She changed so much and now I feel more regret then I ever had. I allowed an amazing woman to slip through my fingers and now every time I try to grasp for her I always come up short. She is so close and yet so far. It is the most torturing feeling in the whole world, words could not even explain how much.

I sigh as I think back on her words "Fix your differences and get over it, because you are brothers and brothers never allow a girl to ruin their bond, even if that girl is me!" I know she is right, he's my brother by choice and even though I have broken Azora's heart, he never shoved me one side and blamed me. Sure he was angry and it took him a long time to forgive me but he never turned his back on me and even now he is still trying to reason with me.

I was not ready for Maon's words but I know he was right, I would only be able to mend our broken relationship up till a certain point. Things between us would never return to normal and that made my heart ace even more. I don't want to give up on her, on us even though my chances are very slim with her, I know there is still something between us. I can still feel the slight pull between us, especially when we are in the same room.

Frustrated I pulled my fingers through my hair and got up walking out of the house not having a specific destination in mind. We have to sort all of this out but I know it is not only my pride that is preventing it, but also TJ's pride, as well as our stubbornness.