Gem: Where did you get that tomato soup?
Pearl: It's actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

Gem: Remember everyone, violence is never the answer.
Pearl: You're right, Gem.. Violence can't be the answer.
Gem: Correct, Pearl. Now, on to the next lesso-
Pearl: Violence is the question.
Pearl: And the answer is yes!
Gem: Pearl, no!!

Fwhip: I did it! I memorized everything in the book! I'm gonna ace this test!
Pearl: Ok, Fwhip, I'll give you one more question before you go. What ended in 1918?
Fwhip: 1917.
Pearl: ...You're ready.

*Everyone is playing a board game together*
Fwhip: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.
Sausage: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.
Pearl: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.
Gem: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.
Pearl: *flips the board*

Fwhip: *slams books down in front of Gem*
Fwhip: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It's gonna be a long night.
Gem: You could of said literally anything else.
Fwhip: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.
Gem: I'm going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won't win. I realize this now.

Sausage: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Fwhip: A doll.
Pearl: A cinnamon roll.
Gem: A sweetheart.
Sausage:
Sausage: ...stop it.

Fwhip: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-
Sausage: It was me...
Fwhip: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

Gem: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all?
Fwhip: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

Sausage: That's it, I'm cutting off the internet!
Fwhip: No, please don't! I have a family to feed!
Sausage:
Sausage: What?
Fwhip: I need to feed my Neopets!

Pearl: Here's the cold medicine you asked for.
Pearl: *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*
Fwhip: ...Thanks.

Fwhip: I've never been in a snowball fight before. I don't know the rules.
Sausage: What?
Fwhip: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

Gem: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically.
Sausage: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes.
Pearl: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting.
Sausage: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.

Sausage: *is hugging Gem*
Fwhip: Hey! It's my turn to hug Gem!
Fwhip: *grabs Gem*
Pearl: *kicking down the door* What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot!
Sausage: No, It's still my turn!
Gem: *suffocating* Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the smallest doesn't mean you can be hugging me constantly!
Fwhip: But we need the moral support!
Sausage: And you're small! Which is cute!
Pearl: If I don't hug you right now I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning.
Gem: *close to tears* Well- I, I guess.

Fwhip: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?
Sausage: Strong.
Pearl: Weak.
Gem: An idiot, is what your are.