(I'm truly sorry for this, the version of me that wrote this was very different from me now. At least, I hope so 😂.)

It had been three months since Dumbledore's meeting with the Dark Lord, and he had actually started to recruit some of his followers.

Since then, he had become the Minister For Magic, while also managing to maintain his position as the Headmaster of Hogwarts, he was the Minister For Magic, after all.

The night he had met the Muggle Prime Minister had been a funny one, he had almost decided to murder and torture said Minister, but alas he managed to refrain from his urges, instead deciding tonight would he the night he would murder Trelawney, which of course meant he needed a new hostage, a new torture victim, or rather partner, and so he decided he would take the Minister's Daughter, Kayla.

It was just in time, too, as Dumbledore was beginning to tire of Trelawney and her half-hearted screams and pleas, begging him to spare her life, as after she found out about Hagrid and her teacups, she seemed to have lost the will to live, and in all honesty, Dumbledore couldn't blame her, after all she was a pathetic rodent of an excuse for a Witch, not to mention Divination Teacher.

(And, yes I did just realize how dark this is and is going to get)

So, after Dumbledore was done with the sad, pathetic Muggle Prime Minister, he decided to go to his Sherbet Lemon Factory, well that's what other people thought it was.

That was where he was keeping Trelawney hostage.

He opened the old, creaky door and stepped inside.

"Ohh, Trelawney," he sang, savouring every last syllable.

"Hey there, Trelawney, don't you worry about the distance. I'm right there if you get lonely! Give this song another listen. Close your eyes. Listen to my voice, it's my disguise. I'm by your side," he continued to sing, borrowing from one of his favourite Muggle songs. (What is this haha).

"P-p-p-p-prof-fessor D-D-Dumbledore,"

"The one and only, haha,", he laughed in response.

"How have you been, dear," he said, not really expecting an answer, not wanting an answer, his voice filled with obviously fake concern.

"I-I've been brilliant, t-t-thank you, S-sir," she replied, fear basically oozing from her entire being.

"Oh, tut-tut," said Dumbledore. "You really are way too boring,".

And then, he chopped her head off.

Threw her body in a large human blender, and blended her up.

Deafening crunches were all that could be heard, along with Dumbledore's sinister laugh. (Well, more of a cackle, really).

Dumbledore prepared some jam jars, in between his manic laughter, as be was still waiting for the Trelawney smoothie to be fully aware of its new liquid state.

By the time the smoothie was ready, Dumbledore had began (begun?) to grow impatient, and so he decided to get this over with as soon as possible, and so he filled twenty or so jam jars with the Trel-smoothie.

And then, Dumbledore left, taking two jars with him, he decided he would keep the rest to give to the Ministry Officials as a present for their hard work and dedication.

"Little do they know," Dumbledore thought and smirked.

Thirty minutes later, Dumbledore was stood outside, in the back garden of the current Muggle Prime Minister's garden.

And he began to throw little stones at the girls window.

By the time she had finally heard him, it was eleven minutes past midnight, and Dumbledore was tired, for it was past his bedtime. (Jk)

So, he decided to cast a floating charm on himself and he then floated himself towards the girls bedroom.

He opened the window, cast a silencing charm on her, although her pleading screams were most pleasant to hear, he did not want to disturb the neighbours, nor her parents. (The girls parents)

So, Dumbledore cast another floating charm on her and floated her to the passenger seat of the Dumble-Mobile.

And off he went to his beloved torture factory.

With his new hostage/victim in tow.