"So," Regulus leans forward, elbows on the table and hands clasped together under his chin. "What now?"
No one has an answer ready.
"We should've waited a bit longer," Remus says, tugging the sleeve of his jumper over the scars on the back of his hand.
"Maybe," James says, his voice still thick, "But at least we got to see you, you know. Isn't it nice to have your favourite person over?"
"James, I literally live with him," Sirius huffs out, smirking at Remus.
"Bold of you to assume you're his favourite person," James retorts.
"Exactly," Regulus tilts his head, playing with one of the silver rings on his hand. "He clearly likes me the most."
"Like?" Remus scoffs, "I don't like, I only tolerate."
"Ooh, he's sassy," Regulus laughs.
Remus shakes his head, smiling to himself. His eyes catch on Sirius for a second, and his smile fades a little.
"Anyway," Lily clears her throat, "Assuming that the article is received well—"
"Judging by James' reaction, I'd call it quite safe to say that," Regulus tells her.
"Right," Lily laughs, "We still might need something bigger. Like, a march, or something."
"That's... Don't you think that's a little extreme?" Remus bites his lip.
"Extreme would be throwing rotten eggs at the Minister," Sirius says, "Actually, I'd be totally down for that, too."
"God, Sirius," Remus sighs, slapping his forehead, "It's like you want to end up in Azkaban."
"Well, if I get my soul sucked out, at least I'll stop feeling like shit all the time."
The room goes quiet, all eyes on Sirius. Remus feels his heart make a sharp move, like a car falling in a pothole. Everything goes blurry for a second, and he forgets how to breathe.
"For legal reasons, that was a joke," Sirius grins, leaning back in his chair. "Please stop looking at me like that. Can we just move on?"
"You can't just... say things like that, Sirius..." Lily frowns. Sirius looks at her quietly, his face still. Looking at his narrowed eyes from beside him, Remus can't discern what this means. It's almost hostile, the way he looks at her.
"All this money, and you still can't find a better sense of humour," Auguste sighs.
"I personally thought it was hilarious," James reaches forward do pat Sirius on the hand, making Sirius break into a wide grin. "Almost cracked a rib laughing," James adds.
"You're both horrible," Remus sighs, wondering in silence whether James really found it as funny.
"Not horrible enough to forget the original topic of conversation, though," Sirius replies, "So, Evans, a march, you were saying?"
"Not right now, obviously," Lily says, tucking a strand of her hair behind an ear, "But at some point, we need to get the Ministry's attention."
Before anyone can actually reply, a strange noise echoes across the house. It repeats itself at quick intervals, like someone knocking on a door.
"Is it coming from the living room?" Sirius frowns, standing up already. Remus frowns when he grabs the back of his chair again. This can't be normal. Perhaps realizing that he's worrying Remus, Sirius quickly removes his had.
"Someone's knocking on a window, it sounds like," Regulus stands up as well.
With a frown, Remus watches the two brothers leave the dining room. He hears a window open and close. Several moments later, they return, Sirius carrying a letter in his hand. It's sealed with red wax, and Remus finds it oddly familiar.
"It was an owl for you," Sirius says, sitting down. He extends the letter to Remus, who immediately recognizes the seal. Hogwarts.
"Go on, open it," James leans forward excitedly.
Remus does as he's told. It's more of a note than a letter, just a couple lines of neat cursive.
"It's from Dumbledore," Remus says, "He says he wants to speak, and to come to Hogwarts whenever I can."
"Wow," Regulus rolls his eyes, "If only we had a quicker way to contact each other than sending a bloody bird... like, a phone, or something."
"Don't be so rude, Reg," Sirius says, but he's smiling as he does so.
"Yeah, he must be doing it for the aesthetic," Auguste adds.
"I feel so attacked," Sirius pulls a face, dropping his chin on to his palms.
"Good, you should be," Auguste tells him.
"Anyway," James starts, "When are you going?" He asks this more from Sirius than Remus, as if they're no longer separate people but a functional unit that comes as a package.
"Just like Dumbledore said, whenever Remus wants to. My bike and I have no plans for the future whatsoever." Sirius shrugs.
Remus doesn't know how good of an idea it is to let Sirius fly a bike in they sky when he can barely stand straight. But he keeps quiet, knowing that Sirius wouldn't want this to be mentioned in front of everyone.
"Maybe you should go today," Regulus wonders out loud, "Since Remus is starting work tomorrow and all."
"Sounds good to me," Sirius grins, "I can't wait to see Dumbles again. I bet he's missed me so much."
***
Remus tries not to stare at Sirius during lunch. But Sirius seems better now. He eats well, and his cheeks, while still pale, are no longer drained of colour.
Only after lunch when they go to their room to get dressed, can Remus finally catch Sirius alone.
"Sirius," he says, his fingers clasping around Sirius' wrist before he can escape into the bathroom.
"What?" Sirius sighs, "I told you, Remus, I'm fine,"
"I didn't ask you if you were, did I?" Remus narrows his eyes, feeling a little irritated.
Sirius scoffs, and the tiny smile that follows makes Remus forget his annoyance immediately. "Yeah," Sirius says, "I guess you didn't,"
"Let's take the train," Remus tells him, "It'll probably be quicker anyway,"
"You mean we'll have to wait until the train even gets to King's Cross, which is itself a half-hour trip from here," Sirius gives him a look.
"I..." Fuck, Remus can't even think when Sirius looks at him so intensely. "It's... cold..." God help him. "It's cold outside, we'll get sick if we take the bike. With the wind, and all that,"
"So?" Sirius raises an eyebrow, probably well aware that Remus is struggling to win this argument. "We have Pepperup at home,"
Remus sighs, and his grip on Sirius tightens just the slightest. He resorts to his final argument. "What if you get dizzy again?" He asks quietly.
Sirius' eyebrows dip down into a small frown, his lips parting for a sharp intake of breath. "I won't," he says, his voice low. "You know I wouldn't put you in danger like that."
Remus thinks about those words for a minute, turning them over in his head and praying that he's not gathering from them something more than what Sirius intended.
The silence stretches out for too long, so Sirius speaks up again. "It was only because I didn't get much sleep last night. You saw me have lunch, Remus. I'm doing fine. People feel dizzy sometimes, it's no reason to worry like this."
Remus looks at him, waiting for his eyes to turn away, but Sirius holds his gaze without wavering. And Remus doesn't know what to do.
"Even if I drove myself, I'd never take you with me if I wasn't feeling well."
Those words should probably be of comfort, but they only make Remus worry even more. "Okay," he says softly, letting Sirius go. "Okay, I'll take your word for it."
***
Sirius decides to stay with Hagrid, the gamekeeper, while Remus goes inside to talk to Dumbledore. Remus really wouldn't have minded if he came with him, but he doesn't protest.
Dumbledore is waiting just outside the entrance of the castle to greet him. "Hello, Remus," he smiles through his long, silver beard, his blue eyes sparkling with a youth that doesn't grace the rest of his features.
"Professor," Remus breathes out, a little overwhelmed at being back inside the premises where he spent such a long and prominent part of his life.
"You came with someone else?" Dumbledore asks as he leads Remus inside.
"Yes, I did," Remus replies, looking around the corridor. "Sirius Black... I'm sure you remember him."
"Ah," Dumbledore smiles, "How could I possibly forget? Such a bright boy he was... I didn't know you were friends,"
"We only met each other very recently," Remus smiles at the mention of Sirius. No matter how worried he is, he still can't help it.
"I see," Dumbledore leads him up the stairs and into his office, where they sit down. Remus tries not to look around him too much while Dumbledore pours him a cup of hot tea. He thanks the Headmaster and waits, curious.
"How do you like my new haircut?" Dumbledore asks, sitting down behind his desk.
Used to the Professor's way of conversation, Remus smiles at him. "It fits you well, Professor," he says.
"I'm glad you think so. Minerva thinks it's in poor taste, sadly," Dumbledore laughs. Remus smiles fondly at the mention of Professor McGonagall, his favourite Professor at Hogwarts.
"Well," Dumbledore pushes his glasses up, leaning back in his chair. "As much as I value your opinion, I didn't call you here to ask about my haircut, Remus." He pauses to take a sip of his tea, frowns, and then dumps a large spoonful of sugar in it.
"It's because of the article in The Quibbler, isn't it?" Remus asks before he can stop himself.
"Yes," Dumbledore confirms, stirring his tea. "We were shocked to see it, all of us. I wish I knew about this earlier, Remus,"
"The Ministry's good at sweeping this kind of thing under the rug," Remus sighs, taking a sip of his tea. He momentarily wonders if Sirius is doing okay. As sweet as Hagrid is, his taste in food is not something Remus would expect to tally with someone as picky and fussy as Sirius.
"Well, now it's out in the open, and the school board is concerned," Dumbledore sighs again, and Remus immediately gets a horrible feeling.
"Concerned about me or concerned about a werewolf potentially being hired to teach at Hogwarts?" His voice is sharper than he means for it to be, and he feels guilty for speaking to Dumbledore like that. "I'm sorry, Professor," he looks down at his hands, "I didn't mean to raise my voice."
"It's alright, Remus," Dumbledore smiles kindly, patting his shoulder. "I'm trying my best to change their minds. We still have a lot of time until your interview."
"But they won't change their minds, will they? That's why you called me here,"
"I called you here to tell you not to give up on it." Dumbledore says, looking Remus straight in the eye.
It was Dumbledore who asked him to apply for a teaching position at Hogwarts. The word apply is being used quite generously here, since Hogwarts Professors are almost always appointed based on the Headmaster's choice. However, the school board needs to approve first, a precaution taken to ensure that the Headmaster couldn't appoint just anyone he liked. This is usually done using an interview, where the so-called applicant would be tested on both subject matter and teaching skills.
And just Remus' luck that the very system designed to ensure fairness is now turning into a tool of shameless discrimination.
"They will use a lot of tricks to get you to give up," Dumbledore says, "But keep in mind that you're not alone. There could be lots of people trying to bring you down for who you are, but you also have good friends rooting for you. That's why I called you, Remus. To remind you of that."
***
Author's Note
Writing happy or optimistic scenes hits different when you're a black hole of unadulterated misery.
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