It takes a lot, but Remus somehow manages to explain everything. The two witches listen to him in silence.
Even Miss Hall.
He tells them what happened in court, Murray's distasteful words and how Sirius reacted to that. His words catch when he remembers how Sirius turned white, how Remus went to touch him and how he just disappeared. He recounts the chaos that followed, trying to find him, trying to reach him somehow. And worrying. Worrying, worrying, worrying. All of them calling everyone they could think of and finding nothing until...
Remus doesn't even realize that he's crying until he feels a hand on his back. He wipes at his face. He's gone through this story before, he told his mom all of this, but instead of being easier to navigate, the memories of that day hurt him a lot more this time. Probably because now he knows the whole story, because now he can see why everything happened the way it did and the thought of having been angry at Sirius at one point, of having raised his voice—and God, the way it made Sirius crumble—is so much harder to bear.
Remus wipes at his eyes, desperate. Because the last time he cried in front of Miss Hall, she told him that real men—whatever the hell that means—don't cry. And while Remus is fairly certain that it was her own way of trying to distract him, he's not in the mood to take any chances.
He looks up, expecting it to be Professor McGonagall, but it's actually Miss Hall who's rubbing his back. She looks fairly awkward, so Remus apologizes. "I'm sorry," he sniffles.
"No need for that, dear," Miss Hall replies. "If you don't cry over the ones you love, then what else would you cry over?" She gives him a fleeting smile. Remus finds it kind of sweet.
He takes a sip of his chocolate.
"I'm aware of what happened with Sirius," McGonagall tells him. Remus turns towards Miss Hall, eyebrows raised. "Why are you looking at me?" she pouts. "It sure as f—" she winces as if something struck her, "I must say, Minnie," she grins, "That is a strong game of footsie you play." She takes a moment to savour the look of absolute horror that falls across the Professor's face. Still grinning like she won the lottery, she turns to Remus. "Anyway, it wasn't me, dear. I'm a woman of principle."
Professor McGonagall clears her throat. Her face is a bit coloured, and Remus wishes Sirius was there to see it.
"James has spoken to me and Professor Dumbledore about it already," she says. "The Headmaster wanted to visit Sirius right away, but it was I who stopped him. I wasn't certain if Sirius would appreciate it."
Remus can't be certain, either. With Sirius, little is ever certain.
"Professor Dumbledore told James about Miss Gardner,"
The therapist.
"We're going to see her next week," Remus says.
"Good," McGonagall replies. "She was one of my brightest students, I trust she'd be excellent for Sirius."
The thought puts Remus at ease.
"Maybe you should go see him, too," Miss Hall suggests. Professor McGonagall looks thoughtful for a minute. "Do you think that would be alright?"
"Why not?" Miss Hall shrugs. "From what I know, the boy sees in you what he wished for in his mother. And given everything he's had to suffer, the poor thing, I can't imagine him not wanting someone he loves by his side."
Professor McGonagall sighs deeply, pressing a hand to her temple. "I should have checked on him sooner," she shakes her head.
"Maybe," Miss Hall replies, "but you couldn't have known. By that logic, Remus should be beating himself up over not seeing it coming because unlike you, he lives with the boy—" she blinks at Remus a couple of times. "Oh dear, he does do that. Well, that's unfortunate, but never mind that."
Remus feels a lot more exposed than he would prefer to, so he speaks up. "You should come, Professor. Sirius would love to see you."
"I don't doubt that," McGonagall replies, "I'm simply worried that he wouldn't find it agreeable that I'm aware of... the recent... events. James told me that Sirius asked him not to tell Mr. and Mrs. Potter."
Remus nods. That sounds exactly like something Sirius would do.
"Honestly, Professor, I think he'd be a bit upset that you know about it, " he says. "But he's... I feel like he's doing a lot better now, and I think he'll be more delighted to see you than anything else."
"It's settled then," Miss Hall grins. "You're going."
"I suppose I am," the Professor gives her a small smile back.
"Well, on account of me being little more than a stranger, I am not. Have fun on your trip, dear. I'd love to stay and hear about the Quibbler, but I have an important customer arriving..." Miss Hall squints at her watch. It's gold and polished. "Oh dear, five minutes ago. Bye-bye, Remus. And see you later, Minnie." She puts her coat on and leans down to press an uncharacteristically soft kiss on Professor McGonagall's cheek.
Remus quickly looks down, cheeks ablaze.
He only looks up when he's sure that Miss Hall's left, leaving behind her only the scent of her perfume and the jingle of the little bell hung above the café.
***
Author's Note
Today on mysteries of the universe:
Do I actually find older girls (women?) hot or do I just have raging mommy issues?
Do I actually want to come out to my parents or do I just want to give them an excuse to hate me?
Guess we'll never know lmao
Man it's fucked that I both hate and love my mom to apparently equal degrees. It fucks with my head so bad and honestly I need a Miss Gardner but I can't go to one because mental illness is not real and there's no way I'm depressed :)