Remus goes home feeling a lot better about his life than he did when he left, and six-hundred and seventy-two percent ready to talk to Sirius.

Because if you don't make an effort for the people you love, then what do you make an effort for? And yes, it's admittedly a rather taxing and, well, painful effort in Sirius' case, but... Remus is willing to try.

Except that there's one flaw in this great plan of his.

Sirius isn't there. He's never there.

It's like living in a haunted house, because Remus knows Sirius lives there, obviously, but he doesn't see him or hear him. In the span of a couple days, Sirius Black has been reduced from the centre of Remus' universe to a peripheral presence. A closed door, a mug washed and laid out to dry, a dinner cooked and left in the pan for Remus, untouched.

And it doesn't change for several days, either. Remus considers writing him a note, or calling him. But it feels so absurd, because Sirius should be there. In his home.

On a cold, sad Friday night, Remus resorts to calling James.

"Hello, Re," James' voice fills his ear, warming him up from the inside  like a Butterbeer.

"Hello," Remus smiles into his phone, but then lets his smile go. "I called to... tell you not to come tomorrow. And... I don't have Auguste's number, so if you can let him know, too..."

"Whoa, hold on," Remus hears James move around, probably to get away from Lily.

"What's wrong? Do you want me to come over? Wait, I'm coming over."

"No, no," Remus rolls his eyes fondly, "Don't come over, James."

"Wow," James huffs, "Rude."

"It's not like that, it's just, you don't have to. I'm doing alright... I just, don't think we should meet up tomorrow,"

"You're cancelling the Justice for Remus club meeting?"

"Yeah..."

"Why? Are you being threatened by the Aurors? Oh my Morgana, are they blackmailing you? Wait, no... it's Sirius, isn't it? What did he do?"

Remus rubs his temples. "He didn't do anything... He's not here,"

"What? He... left?"

"No, he's just not around when I'm here. Like he's avoiding me... or something. I don't know. I haven't seen him for days, James."

"Fuck, really?" James sounds panicked, which makes Remus' heart jump.

"He cooks for me," Remus says quietly.

"He... I'm sorry, come again?"

"He cooks for me, everyday. While I'm at work. And then disappears. I never see him, but he has to be returning here. Unless... Unless it's someone else doing the cooking."

"He's probably just too nervous to face you... He's not picking up my calls either. I'll call Auguste and see if he's seen Sirius. Who am I kidding, they're probably together right now."

Remus tries not to feel too hurt by that.

"You sure you don't want me to come? I can bring you here, you know. You can stay with us until Sirius decides to get his shit together. I can't imagine being alone in that big house,"

"Thanks, James," Remus says, holding back a sigh, "But that's okay. I'm going to stay up for him tonight, since I don't have work tomorrow,"

"You sure?"

"I'm sure, James," Remus smiles, even if James can't see it.

"Okay..." James trails off, "Tell me how it goes, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll let you know. Thanks a lot, James."

They say their goodbyes and hang up, and Remus stretches out on his bed to have a small nap so that he can wait for Sirius without falling asleep.

***

Remus has been feeling so down that he's actually surprised to hear the sputter of Sirius' motorbike in the garden. He sits up straight, lifting Mentos from his lap and placing him on the couch beside himself.

Chewing on his lip, he waits for Sirius to come inside. It's past three in the morning, and Remus' heart is pounding in his throat. He curls his fingers into fists, and then uncurls them.

After what feels like three hours, Sirius finally comes in. He doesn't see Remus until he locks the door and turns around.

And as soon as their eyes meet, Sirius goes impossibly paler, leaning against the door as if he's going to faint. Remus stands up quickly, afraid that Sirius might leave.

"Please don't go," he finds himself saying, and he doesn't even care how desperate he sounds.

Sirius doesn't say anything.

And Remus doesn't move. He prepared a whole lost of things to tell Sirius. Things like how he just wants to know why Sirius is pushing him away, and how he's not angry, and how he didn't mean to raise his voice that night.

But he remembers none of it, and his throat is so dry it hurts.

"Sirius," he says weakly, taking a step toward him, afraid and unsure.

"What do you want?" Sirius asks, watching him warily.

"I..." Remus tries to think of an answer. And Sirius tries to slip away. It's out of reflex that Remus grabs his wrist, but Sirius jerks away so sharply that Remus lets him go just as quickly.

"Just... just let me go to my room, Remus," Sirius says, sounding pained.

"Why won't you just talk to me?" Remus asks, not ready to let him go this soon.

"Because..." Sirius looks away, "because there's nothing to say."

Remus shakes his head. "Yes there is," he protests, "Why are you doing this, Sirius?"

"I'm not doing anything," Sirius' voice grows louder, his eyes wilder. "You wanted to leave, because... Because what? Because you didn't want to stay with me? To see me?" He gives Remus a smile so cold that it makes Remus wrap his arms around himself. "And I made you stay, didn't I? Fuck, why did I do that? Why didn't I just let you leave?" He gives his hair a harsh pull, and Remus feels it in his chest.

"I'm trying to... to stay away. I need to. And you need me to. Do you understand? Whatever you think... whatever you want, I can't give it to you, Remus. I don't have any of it." He smiles again, and Remus swallows thickly. Nervous, lost. Not sure what to make of these broken sentences that make no sense. Wanting to fix it but not sure how.

"So please," Sirius goes further away from him, his eyes unreadable and his smile lost. "Just let me do that for you. And leave me the hell alone."

And he darts up the stairs, his footsteps echoing across the house, as if he's afraid of Remus running after him. But Remus doesn't. He only watches him leave, hurt and helpless, feeling lower than he's ever felt.