When Remus walks into Miss Hall's backroom, he's not expecting much. It's usually when he walks out of it that he's met with something unexpected, that something usually being Sirius waiting for him. The most Remus has ever been surprised is that one time when Miss Hall thought it would be a good idea to have a carved pumpkin stuck on a broom right in front of the fireplace.

Either way, he's not expecting anyone. And he's definitely not expecting his mother.

"Mom?" he frowns, rushing towards his mother who couldn't look more incongruent standing in Miss Hall's haphazardly 'organized' back room. She's paler than Remus would want her to be, and for the first time in his entire life, she doesn't break into a wide smile upon seeing him. As she pulls him down so that she can hug him, Remus wonders if his father is dead.

Since when has he started thinking in a manner so horribly pessimistic?

"I was so, so worried," Hope says, letting Remus go and taking a good look at him, like she used to do when he would go back home from Hogwarts for the holidays. Except now, he's taller than her and she has to crane her neck up to look at his face. "I thought you were hurt, Remus. Why didn't you pick up my calls?"

Remus frowns. "You called?"

"As soon as your father showed me the papers," she replies. Remus almost cringes when he realizes that those missed calls the day before were not from Sirius but from his mom.

"Mom, I'm so sorry," he whispers, bending down to kiss her head. "I didn't know it was you. When did you get here?" Remus pauses then, frowning. "How did you get here?"

"Floo-ed to Diagon Alley, sweetie. And then we took a cab from there,"

Remus goes to nod before he realizes that his mom can't Floo anywhere. And 'we'? "Is..." he swallows, "Is dad here?"

Remus isn't sure what exactly he feels when Hope nods in response, a small, reassuring smile on her face. "Come on," she smiles at him, taking his hand. He gives her a tight smile, his throat too dry to formulate any verbal response.

Remus walks behind her, wishing he could just disappear. When was the last time he even spoke to his father? He can't remember. He can't even remember when he last saw him. Not in the past two years, that's for sure.

When they eventually enter the shop proper, Remus stops walking, frozen by the sheer shock of seeing his father. Lyall Lupin is where Remus gets his height from, and even among the dauntingly tall bookshelves, he still stands out. Remus remembers him as a well-built man, broad shoulders and all. But years of drinking has stripped the muscle from his frame. He looks old and he looks sick. His clothes are old, too. A big coat Remus remembers he used to wear to work at the Ministry, once well-fitted on him but now only serving to make him look frail with how it hangs past his shoulders.

"Remus," he looks relieved, no doubt, as he walks over. Remus lets his father pull him into a hug, but he can't bring himself to hug back. When Lyall pulls away, he doesn't remove his hands from Remus' shoulders. He looks Remus over, in the same way that Hope did just a few moments ago. "You're not hurt, are you, son?"

Remus wishes he could hurl something like Don't call me your son at his father, but he can't. It's not that Lyall doesn't care. He does, Remus knows that. It's why he drank himself to... to an unemployed shell of a man too scared to love his wife and his son.

It's just that it's easier to pretend your parents don't care than admit that they do care but don't let it show. It's easier to pretend that they hate you than admit that they're just bad at showing how much they love you.

Why is it harder to show people that you care than it is to care about them?

"I'm okay," he replies hoarsely, then adds, "dad."

Lyall has blue eyes. Light blue and intense. They're difficult to read, unlike Hope's, which carry all her emotions in their depth. But today, Remus can see the sadness in his father. Maybe spending so much time with Sirius has heightened his sensitivity to the type of sadness that's only visible in people's eyes.

Lyall looks like he's going to say more, but he gets interrupted by the door opening. It's Miss Hall. Remus blinks a couple of times, hoping he doesn't look like he's going to burst out sobbing any minute.

"Sorry to interrupt, but it's cold outside," Miss Hall shrugs apologetically at Remus' parents. "And it's not very nice of you to not answer your mother's calls, Remus dear." She disappears into the back room. "I'd offer you tea, but I only have two cups," she grins, popping her head out. "Remus can take you out somewhere,"

"We'll come meet him when he's finished working, Miss," Lyall replies.

"It's fine," Miss Hall sighs, "This place gets two people a day, and one of them is Remus. We've already set a record with four people in here at the same time. Old as I am, I'm sure I can handle things by myself for today."

It takes some more persuasion, but eventually Remus' parents agree. Lyall ends up buying a couple of books, and seeing him hold them to his chest as they walk along the street reminds Remus of shopping for textbooks at Diagon Alley, and of the large piles of hardbound books in Lyall's study, always ending up scattered across his desk despite Hope putting them back on their shelves.

They go to a small café.

While Lyall goes to order whatever, Remus and his mother sit. "We saw the papers," Hope says softly. Her hair is greying at her temples.

Remus nods.

"How's Sirius doing?"

Remus looks at his mom, suddenly remembering the less than flattering description of Sirius that the Prophet had run.

"He's..." Remus chokes a little. "I'm sorry, mom," he shakes his head, "I should've called you."

"What happened?" Hope frowns. "Is he hurt?"

Remus sighs. "He was," he says quietly, "He's doing better now, but..."

"What happened?" Hope asks again.

"He had an accident," Remus replies. "An intentional one."

"An intentional accident?"

Remus bites his lip. "He tried to..."

"Oh, God," Hope reaches for Remus' hand. "Is he alright now? That poor boy,"

"He's doing better, yeah," Remus squeezes her hand. "It was just... Everything happened so quickly, mom."

Remus' father comes back with a tray of mugs. He's got hot chocolate for Remus, and tea for himself and his mother. "Thanks, dad," he mumbles, cupping the mug with both of his hands.

"Do you like your new job, Remus?" He asks.

Remus almost cringes at how awkward it is. "It's okay," he replies, "Miss Hall is really nice."

"What about Hogwarts?"

Remus shrugs. Lyall sighs, and Remus hopes it's not disappointment.

"Your mother told me you're still staying with the Black brothers," he says.

Remus feels bad, because his father is clearly trying hard to make conversation but it's not Remus' fault that it's so awkward. He secretly wishes Sirius was there. He'd make it all better.

"I am," he replies.

"And this Sirius?"

Remus can't help blushing. God, he's twenty-two years old and he still blushes at the mention of his... Whatever Sirius is to him.

"He's... Very kind," Remus croaks out. He feels his mom give him a little nudge under the table.

"I'm sure he is," Lyall sounds a bit amused. He pauses a bit before adding, "I'm glad you've found good friends, Remus."

Remus gives him a weak smile. "If he is a friend," Lyall adds.

Remus puts his face down. "Dad,"

"I didn't say anything," Lyall laughs, reaching forward to pat his shoulder. His smile fades away quickly, though. "His parents aren't bothering you, are they?"

"No, no," Remus replies. "I haven't even seen them. I don't think they keep in touch with Sirius."

"That's probably for the better," Lyall mutters. Remus nods. He feels his phone vibrate.

"Excuse me," he mutters, pulling it out of his pocket. Of course it's Sirius.

Remus

Remus stares at it. A new text quickly follows.

I'm bored

And then another,

Reg locked me in the greenhouse

Then there's a sequence of texts.

I think Dorothy is staring at me
Reeeeemus
Help

Remus rolls his eyes.

I'm with my parents

Sirius immediately calls him. As soon as Remus picks up, he asks, "Can I please talk to your mom?"

Remus laughs. "Of course, hold on." He turns to his mother and holds his phone out. "Mom," he can't help grinning, "Here. Sirius wants to talk to you."

***

Author's Note

Well, here's an update after 293949 days. Idec anymore I just want to finish this book so that I can leave Wattpad