The sharp tip of a silver needle pricked my finger, a small droplet of scarlet blood forming at the open wound, trickling down the skin and twirling around my finger in a spellbinding line.
I set the threaded needle down against the mahogany table I sat at, the dim candlelight guiding the shadows around the room as the wick burned, the oscillating flame dancing ever so elegantly. I winced slightly, holding my injured finger up to examine it. It was only a small wound, but it was a deep poke that forced a generous amount of blood to slip down my finger.
I clenched my fist for a single second to see how much it hurt, and then opened my hand again, dismay clouding my eyes as I realized what I'd done. The fresh blood smeared all over my hand, and it looked identical to how my palms had looked the day Erwin had died.
I took up the needle once more, and my eyes searched emptily for the ripped hem of the shirt I had been sewing, but was surprised to see that it had vanished, replaced by the dismal figure of the very man I had tried oh so desperately to save.
Now, the needle I held in my hand was not to sew together the fabric of a shirt, but rather the wound that spilt all over the waxy table as the Commander - Erwin - lay there with nothing but shaded death in his unoccupied eyes. The candlelight reflected off the blackness of his soulless pupils, as if to shame me for the very fact I had let that burning flame vanquish.
I dropped the needle, startled by the sight- Stepping back quickly and bumping into my chair. It tipped over, the loud noise cascading through the room and jamming my senses shut.
Hot fear manipulated my face, my breath shaky and unhinged. I immediately ducked away, bending down and shielding my ears and shutting my eyes tightly.
"It's not real..." I urged myself firmly, composing the thundering that roared in my chest. I drew in the stuffy air of my room, unable to drink in a stable breath.
I opened my eyes hesitantly, rising to my unsteady feet and rushing over to the window. I propped it open, letting the cool night breeze wrap around my frame in a comforting embrace that cleansed the vision I had just seen.
I closed my eyes, brows knitting together as I tried to push the image away, to toss it far beyond the Walls that spread out across the lands of our inconsolable Island.
I pressed my bloodied palm against my chest, forming a fist with the woeful fingers that cried out to the sky above. I opened my eyes, mapping out each and every star that stared down at me, pinpointing the brightest one that seemed to drown out the voices of the others that surrounded and bowed before it.
I named this one the Commander of the sky, delivering the best salute I could muster from my stiffened limbs. The blood on my fingers stained my white blouse, the vermillion colored substance sticking to the flimsy fabric.
I swore to that star that slept eternally in the sky that I would forever be in its debt. I swore that I would never let another person's blood rebirth onto my hands the way his did- Blooming like an impregnable red rose of spring.
The dauntless star seemed to flicker in reply, but the impaired speech of the sky was incoherent to my unreliable ears.
My fist unfolded, my arm falling back down to my side, swaying slightly.
The clouds washed over the star.
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《 Chapter 3 》 • Croaking Needle
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Day two of practice.
I swung down from the branch I stood atop, letting the tendrils of wind enclose around my tender skin, the wires of the ODM gear tugging around my waist and piloting me up into the breast of the sky. My sights locked onto a large wooden figure that emerged from the shelter of the trees.
I used the weight of my body to spin around in an effortless circle, gliding down toward the target and emitting a reasonable amount of gas necessary to hack the nape clean off, my blades slithering through the tough surface.
I propelled myself downward and landed smoothly, my left foot circling around the dirt as I slid into place, balancing myself neatly. A small trail of dust lifted from where my heel had once touched.
"Excellent as always," Hange landed down to my side, holding her swords close to her body. She nudged me with her shoulder to emphasize the compliment.
I grant them a small smile before shifting my eyes back to the other wooden targets that appeared throughout the training grounds. Verdant pine trees scattered the scenic view that swallowed the area around us. The sun was a great crater in the belly of the sky, shining down upon the clearing just beyond a crooked root of a tree that stuck prominently out of the soil.
A tall titan-like dummy loomed up, casting a gargantuan shadow that spilled throughout the limbs of the trees.
Then, out from behind the shivelight of the forest came the blistering blur of a figure.
I recognized the nimble movements of the figure to belong to the Captain, the twin blades he clutched in his hands seeming to mend into his wrists and becoming a part of him as he spun around in unprecedented movements that stole the shallow breath from my lungs. He allowed the swords he wielded to tear down his foe, nearly severing the entire head off the dummy. He landed, his unrivaled valor soaking into the trees that encompassed him.
As I watched in sheer awe, I didn't realize he had brought his gaze over to me, the misanthropic stare he wore on his face stabbing through me. I wanted to turn away, but something held me in place, my eyes rooting themselves to his. My numinous posture clashed with his powerful stance. Then, he finally dipped his icy stare back down to his blades that were pointed down at the green mossy plains he stood on.
That small exchange was enough to strangle me without anyone holding my neck in their hands...
...
"[Y/n]..." Hange interrupted, forcing me back into reality. They gave me a wistful look, her eyes refracting the coarse touch of the sun. "I think... It's about time you apologized to him..."
My eyes grew round at the suggestion, and a knot formed in my throat, but I urged myself to not choke on it.
Hange pressed on.
"You two can't keep giving eachother the silent treatment like this. If we are to go to war, then we are relying on the teamwork of everyone, and that includes both of you," She placed a friendly hand on my right shoulder, holding me securely as she heaved an extended and heavy sigh.
"And..."
"It pains me to see both of you so troubled."
After allowing their words to fester in my stomach, I plastered on a sentimental smile. My left hand traveled up and placed itself atop Hange's that still rested on my shoulder, squeezing it gently. "... I know you're right..." I intoned, the pitch of my voice faltering. Then I brought myself up, refusing to sound so downcast.
"I will, I just-" I took a full breath, staring over at the back of the Captain. "I just need a little longer."
Hange frowned, the corners of her mouth creasing to show the prominent evidence of her age over the years I've known them. "You can't keep pushing it off. The longer you wait, the chances are his disliking for you will only grow." Hange said seriously, their grip tightening. I bit my lip in thought, taking my hand off Hange's.
"I will," I repeated more forwardly. "I will." It felt like I just kept repeating it to convince myself of something I wasn't sure about. And it turns out I couldn't believe it in the slightest.
"Just..." I glanced over at Levi, who was walking lonesomely through the aisles of trees, gradually getting farther.
"Not now."